An interesting statistic was revealed by the BBC recently: just as women do from time to time, apparently men sometimes fake orgasms (Britain Unzipped). In a demonstration of the dumbing down at the UK’s national public broadcaster, this information was broadcast on the youth channel, BBC3, with no explanation (failing to fulfil Auntie Beeb’s educational remit). Indeed, the presenters seemed completely unable to comprehend how a man could fake an orgasm.
I suspect that the two male hosts did not understand what an orgasm actually is and were confusing orgasm with ejaculation. An orgasm is not necessarily an experience solely centred around the genitals, but can affect muscles around the body and thus can be experienced throughout one’s physicality. These are the physiological orgasmic responses. However, additionally, orgasms are part psychological: a reaction and interaction of mind and emotions.
One can ejaculate without experiencing orgasm. For me this has happened on occasion when I have imbibed too much alcohol; when I’ve been clinically depressed; or, when taking certain medications. Obviously in such or similar circumstances, it is quite possible to fake orgasmic responses. I am reliably informed by straight women friends, that men do not generally whip off the condom and flash their ejaculate in front of their partner. And as a queer guy, I can concur with this observation in respect to my male partners.
Contrariwise, a man can orgasm without ejaculating or even having an erection. For many menfolk, whatever their sexuality, stimulation of their prostate can lead to la petite mort. Yet others can orgasm through nipple-stimulation. Obviously, in these circumstances it will be much more difficult to fake ejaculation, unless one is prone to pre-cumming.
As a disabled guy, often under the influence of medicaments, I cannot rely on erection and/or orgasm. This means I have had to explore my sexuality: kissing, frottage, licking, caressing... A sensuous exploration of pleasure. And it’s relatively safe-sex to that end. Orgasms are not the be-all-and-end-all.